One of the most striking aspects of life in Afghanistan is the segregation of the genders and the absence of women in public life.

Driving through the city you might see one or two women for every hundred men. I have not seen a women driving a car, eating at a restaurant, or selling produce. Men even sell women’s make up, hygiene and undergarments. I have not seen one girl playing in a park.

Women who are out and about are escorting children or attending to some shopping. While I did see two women teachers outside of a girls school, it was in an area where women are re-engaging in public life. There are also more roles for women in the civil service but this may be as much about filling a gender quota then actually having a voice.

The hotel I am staying at is serviced by men only (because a women should not have contact with men outside her family). Men cook the food, serve the food, handle reception, design and clean rooms, garden, manage and handle the accounts. I was assured by staff that women do help out at times with washing the clothes and washing dishes (again away from men).

You can use your imagination on the general cleanliness, services, and standards at my hotel. The only thing in the room in good condition is the satellite TV, the menu is for extreme carnivores and you cannot expect any service during afternoon nap time when all the workers snooze on the couches in the lobby.

Women seem to know their expected place. Even walking down a corridor or entering an office women instinctively step behind the men and follow.

It is a man’s world in the worst sense.
All of this will present a real challenge for Hagar as we explore business options for employing women. How do you really empower women to be financially independent when they are only allowed to interact with other women outside their family? A women’s only work environment is necessary.

We are learning step by step. A woman leads Hagar’s shelter for trafficked women. Still though, she requires senior man on her team in order to conduct a range of public activities like meeting with the police, working with the government, and dealing with service providers. The issue is not her capability but whether others in positions of power and authority will take her seriously.

If I need to go somewhere outside the office with a female Hagar staff another man needs to go as well – even if it just the driver. Planning any co-ed staff outings could tarnish the reputation of the women staff. (why it would not affect the man’s reputation as well seems unclear).

We are going to have to be innovative and creative in finding solutions to empowering women in this man's world. Because change takes time.

Staff do talk about changes slowly happening in society - and it is exciting. Certainly many more girls are going to school. There are signs of more economic activity from women.

I do hope for a more active and public engagement of women soon. There is of course the issue of social justice. But, it's an awfully unattractive, uninteresting, boring and sometimes ugly world where just men rule the roost. It is men and women together – with all the challenges this presents – that creates an attractive and life-giving world to live in.